Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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