Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
