When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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