i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
