He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
