Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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