It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
