Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
