Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
