Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
