I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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