Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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