I just pynch a tree in the face
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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