You're so nebulous sometimes
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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