he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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