last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
