I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
