fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
