5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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