I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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