HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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