Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
