Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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