omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
