Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
