I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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