Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
