she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
