I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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