Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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