WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
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