There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
