Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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