Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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