Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
