I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
there is glitter all over my balls
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
