I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
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