There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
