sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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