On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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