The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
