your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
