i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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