Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
