We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
