i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
