so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
