Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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