he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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