You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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