Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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