week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
