No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
