Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize